The Cost of Cold Feet

We’ve all heard the stories of the runaway bride who gets cold feet and never makes her way to the altar, or the groom who gets through the bachelor party only to realize that he’s really not ready to give up the ladies and settle into a monogamous relationship. The number of people who get cold feet in the months, weeks, days, and hours leading up to the ceremony (or even those who bolt during the vows) is fairly high, and it’s no surprise considering the major life decision involved in committing to be with only one other person for as long as you both shall live. And while there is certainly an emotional cost involved, it may be the financial loss that haunts you for years to come.

Most people sink money into planning their marriage with the assumption that they will pay for it as a couple. Because they will share the expenses of one household in the future (if they aren’t already), rather than supporting two costly residences (with all of the attendant bills), they can afford to lay out thousands of dollars for their impending nuptials. And according to recent surveys, the average cost of a wedding these days comes out to more than $25,000, a pretty hefty price tag for an event that doesn’t happen. Of course, the majority of engaged couples that split do so before they have to pay in full, but there are still a number of non-refundable costs that must be paid.

First there is the engagement ring, which may be sold later on, but certainly can’t be returned in most cases (at least not after a certain point). Then there are deposits required for the venues (ceremony and reception), the official, photographer, caterer, florist, and so on. The dress is a cost that must be paid in full, and often honeymoon bookings come with a cancellation fee (although tickets may be transferred). The average couple has somewhere in the neighborhood of $8,000 in fees that they cannot reclaim, even if they cancel early. Of course, there is an easy way to avoid this costly situation; if couples simply take their commitments seriously and stop to think things through before buying (or accepting) the engagement ring, then a lot of time, trouble, and money can be saved.

Kristin Cavallari Returns Engagement Ring

Everyone who was waiting with baited breath to see if the Cutler-Cavallari split would go the same way as the Williams-Daniels debacle (in which the football player actually sued his former beauty queen girlfriend to get back the $76,000 diamond ring he sent her in the mail) can now breathe a sigh of relief. Cavallari, who reportedly loved her 5.2-carat, Asscher-cut engagement ring, has nonetheless offered it back to former fiancé Jay Cutler, Chicago’s quarterback. And the jerk took it. After reportedly breaking her heart, you think he’d at least give her a consolation prize (fact: diamonds are forever, even if relationships clearly are not). But no, sources say she offered and he took it.

This is just the latest in a recent spate of celebrity breakups that have made headlines concerning the return of the engagement ring. First there was Hugh Hefner, who magnanimously allowed fiancé Crystal Harris to keep her $90,000 engagement ring despite the fact that she called off the nuptials just a week before the wedding date (apparently Hef was just happy to have dodged the bullet – he let her keep the Bentley, as well). Then, of course, there was the scandal over Brooke Daniels, who apparently told former boyfriend Roy Williams (that’s right, they weren’t even engaged!) that she had lost the $76,000 ring he used to propose (it was later discovered in her father’s possession).

But Cavallari has outclassed the whole lot by giving back the ring, something that a spurned woman is rarely required to do. In the other cases, the recipients should have returned the rings as a matter of course since they were either turning down or breaking the engagements. Cavallari, who did not renege on her promise to marry, was the only one out of the bunch who had reason to keep the ring, and yet, she opted to return it. Of course, simply having it around probably produced a gamut of negative emotions, so she’s surely better off without it. Still, it must have been a hard thing to do considering the nature of her breakup. In any case, she is well shed of both man and ring. Now she can move on to a man who truly deserves her, and a ring that will be with her for the rest of her life.

2011 Engagement and Wedding Ring Report Yields Impressive Statistics

Have you ever wondered how much the average engagement ring weighs, or which cut is preferred by consumers? How about the most popular metal for engagement bands and wedding sets? Perhaps you’d like to know what the majority of couples consider to be the most important aspects of selecting their wedding bands, or where they go to get their rings. You can find the answers to these questions and more in the annual Engagement and Wedding Ring Report(conducted by research and forecast company The Wedding Report, Inc.), which compiles data about the marketing and sale of engagement and wedding bands as well as consumer information pertaining to what goes into the selection process.

To address the questions posed above, the average engagement ring weight 1.18 carats, more than half of people who purchase engagement rings select a round cut, and white gold is the most popular metal. In addition, most couples rate design, style, and durability as the most important factors in the selection process and interestingly, most brides and grooms research their rings online, but only about $1 billion out of the estimated $9.64 billion that people spent on rings last year went to online retailers. However, that number is going up every year as e-tailers continue to offer amazing prices along with guarantees of authenticity.

And here are a few other interesting facts that you may relate to. If you don’t really understand how clarity ratings work (or how and why they affect the price of a diamond), you’re not alone. Not only grooms, but also many brides report that they don’t have the foggiest notion what clarity is. And if you decide to personalize your engagement ring or wedding band (say, with an inscription), you are in the minority (only about 24% of couples do this). Here’s another surprise: the fastest growing segment of the engagement and wedding ring market is for men, who it seems have collectively decided that their bands should include diamonds.

Although it’s fun to peruse these statistics and realize that you aren’t the only one looking for a bigger ring, a better cut, or someone to explain how the heck clarity figures into the equation, keep in mind that each couple has to make their own choices concerning engagement and wedding bands based not on what others are doing, but what fits their sensibilities, time frame, and budget. So don’t get hung up on the stats; instead, enjoy the ride with your future spouse and select the rings that are right for you.

Engagement Party 101

Although the engagement party has traditionally been used as a way for a couple to announce to close family and friends that they plan to marry, more and more people are opting to reveal their engagement ahead of time and throw an engagement party to celebrate the good news. But if you haven’t been to one of these events before, you may not know quite what to expect. Is this a dressy affair, like the wedding itself, or something informal, along the lines of a bridal shower? Is it acceptable to bring a “plus one”? Are gifts expected? Here are just a few questions answered so that you can attend an engagement party without the fear of flubbing.

First and foremost, an engagement party is cause for celebration. The couple has probably already let it be known that the wedding is on the horizon and this event is just a way to announce it formally (and have a fun little shindig in the process). It is also a way for the families and friends of the two lovebirds to mix and mingle, possibly for the first time. In short, this type of party is meant as something of an ice-breaker, a way to get everyone acquainted before the big day.

As such, it can either be a dressy or casual affair, but if the couple doesn’t specify, you can generally use the venue as a way to guess the level of formality. If the event is to take place at a country club or fancy restaurant, then you should probably step up your ensemble a bit. A party held at a family home, on the other hand, will likely mean more casual dress. And when it comes to bringing a date, simply ask the couple ahead of time. Likely there won’t be any prAs for presents, they are most certainly not required. Should you choose to bring a token, however, make it something small and personal, like a photo frame or a guide to wedding planning. Don’t make a big show of presenting it, either, as this may distress other guests who have not brought gifts. Instead, discreetly slip it to the bride or groom when you can catch one of them alone.

Finally, keep in mind that this party is a precursor to other events (the bridal shower, bachelor and bachelorette parties, and of course, the wedding). It would behoove you not to do anything stupid (like drink too much and start table dancing) since you’re going to be seeing these people several more times in the near future.

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo’s Wedding Ring Details

The lovebirds may have faced some controversy when first they announced their engagement, but the subsequent marriage of Lachey’s ex (Jessica Simpson) helped to smooth over public opinion and pave the way for the couple’s future nuptials, which occurred just a few days ago. The wedding took place on Neckar Island (owned by Sir Richard Branson) in the Caribbean, on a cliff overlooking the cerulean waters. Minnillo wore a silk, Monique Lhuillier creation that featuredcrystal beadwork while Lachey sported a Dolce & Gabanna design. Of course, anyone interested in getting a peek at the ceremony can see the two-hour special airing on TLC July 30th, entitled Nick & Vanessa’s Dream Wedding (you didn’t think the reality TV duo would do anything less!).

And of course, no celebrity wedding would be complete without some spectacular bling on display. Those who paid attention to the engagement of late last year were probably in awe of the fabulous, 4-carat, Asscher-cut diamond that the soon-to-be Mrs. Lachey was seen sporting. The central stone, flanked by trapezoidal diamonds and set in a platinum band, was designed by Bader and Garrin and reportedly cost around $125,000. Of course, Kim Kardashian’s $2 million stunner would shortly surpass Minnillo’s ring in the bling department, but as of last November, Minnillo had one of the finest celebrity engagement rings on the market.

Now the couple has added a pair of gorgeous wedding bands to the mix. Also designed by David Bader (of Bader and Garrin), Minnillo’s band was made to match perfectly with her engagement ring, featuring smaller Asscher-cut diamonds in a platinum eternity band. Even Lachey went for an embellished ring. Although he obviously wanted something more masculine (opting for a thicker band) the design of his ring featured 24 diamonds. Also reportedly included in Lachey’s ring was a special inscription penned by his now-wife. As to what that message might be, the couple has thus far remained tight-lipped on the subject (apparently wishing to keep at least one part of the wedding arrangements private). All that was revealed was that the engraving was “heartfelt”. If you want to know more, tune in on Saturday to see the wedding for yourself!

Engagement Off for Kristin Cavallari

Reality TV icon Kristin Cavallari, best known for appearing on MTV’s Laguna Beach and later, The Hills, has long been making headlines with the goings-on of her daily life. But she would probably rather the most recent news hadn’t made its way into the public eye. Apparently, fiancé Jay Cutler (quarterback for the Chicago Bears) has broken off their engagement just two months after proposing in Mexico (the couple had only been dating for ten months when they became engaged). Although reps for both parties have stated only that the two broke off the engagement, and that they are asking for privacy during this tough emotional time, an anonymous source has something different to report.

According to People Magazine, a source close to the couple has revealed that Cutler did the dumping, catching Cavallari completely off-guard. She was shocked by the news that Cutler had changed his mind about their upcoming marriage. The wedding planning had already begun, with the couple having chosen a date next spring (following the football season). And Cavallari, who has been spending a lot of time in Chicago with her fiancé, was apparently planning to move to the windy city to be near him during the football season.

So far there has been no word on what caused the split, with sources saying only that Cutler changed his mind about marriage. Cavallari, who has reportedly been “devastated” by the news, has yet to release a public statement. However, she has not completely retreated from her adoring public. Fans that have been tweeting their condolences at least got a few breadcrumbs when she sent out a short response, saying, “Thanks for the support. Love u guys.”

Of course, the question on everyone’s mind (besides the reason for the breakup) is whether or not she’ll return the 5.2-carat solitaire that has been her constant companion since April (let’s hope Roy Williams doesn’t start a trend). She was spotted over the weekend at The Beverly in Hollywood, drinking and dancing with pals Nicky Hilton and Alessandra Ambrosio. Notably lacking from the festivities was her monster ring. She was reportedly having a great time, calling to question reports of her supposed devastation, as well as the rumors that Cutler was solely responsible for the breakup.

Should You Propose on Vacation?

Like anyone trying to come up with a way to pop the big question, you want it to be special and memorable, not to mention impressive enough to solicit a “yes”. And when you consider that it worked for Wills and Kate (he proposed during their holiday in Kenya), you might feel more confident about working the question into your plans (although of course, William’s proposal came with an iconic ring and a royal title, to boot). In any case, a vacation could provide for the perfect set of circumstances when it comes to pledging your devotion to your partner and asking for the same in return.

Think about it this way; the stresses of daily life could lead to bad decisions, especially of the impulse variety. If you catch your partner after an awful day at work, it could color the way your proposal is answered. A “no” could be a knee-jerk reaction made out of frustration and anger (not even aimed at you) while a yes could be impulsive and intended to sweep other feelings under the rug for a while. On the other hand, a vacation should leave your love relaxed and ready to give your question the full attention and deliberation it deserves, so the answer you get will be honest.

In addition, a vacation offers you a wide range of options when it comes to doing the deed. Whereas you might normally resort to such tried-and-true tactics as taking your partner to the restaurant where you had your first date, an exotic locale gives you the opportunity to arrange for something really special. Your honey is probably already expecting a little adventure, so you could consider proposing at the top of a mountain after a long hike, with the beauty of nature as your backdrop. Or you might arrange for a private dinner on a beach, pop the question while visiting a famous museum (in front of a notoriously romantic piece of art), or even flash the ring during a skydiving excursion.

The possibilities are endless and a vacation proposal will only make the trip that much more special. Plus, it will give you both a few days to bask in the swell of love that you’re bound to feel immediately after becoming engaged (without a bunch of family and friends crowding your intimate moment with well-meaning offers of congratulations).